Toaster Rage

I really hate my toaster...and my toaster really hates me....honestly...

The handsome mechanic brought me this innocent little toaster from a garage sale and I was excited

 that I was going to make delicious toast delicacies again...yea!!

Using a toaster is simple right??

Step 1:  Put the bread in the slots

Step 2:  Adjust knob to desired brownness

Step 3:  Toast pops up on it's own and it is perfection

Step 4:  Slather with butter and jam and enjoy!

Yeah right!

This is the way toasting bread should go, but my toaster is possessed......

I am 47 years old and have had many toasters  in my life and have never had issues like this with a simple kitchen appliance...

This picture is what my toast always looks like when I wrestle with the toaster to let my bread go....

Oh yes, YOU say, why doesn't she just adjust the temperature??  Silly girl!!!

Well, THIS is what my toast looks like no matter what temperature the toaster it is set on.  

I also have to physically assault the toaster for it to let go of the burnt bread!

I even LIKE my toast very brown and almost burnt....but NOT THIS burnt...every time.  

The mechanic innocently asked one day, "How are you enjoying the toaster?"

"I HATE THAT TOASTER!  IT ALWAYS BURNS MY BREAD EVERY TIME!  I HAVE NEVER HAD A TOASTER THAT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!

Total silence.....

The look on his face = priceless...

"Toaster rage?"  he gingerly asks.  

Ok, so I look a little crazy at the moment...

Ok, TOTALLY crazy....

Is it still in my kitchen?  Yes...

I'm waiting for it to die--but I know it NEVER will....sigh...

We've just made a pact that no one is allowed in the kitchen while I'm making toast....and no one is to come in NO MATTER what noises are coming from the general toasting area...just saying...

 Ok, let's let the toaster alone and concentrate on making my Momma's Pecan Tarts.  She always made them every Christmas and they were wonderful!  I'm just getting ahead of the game and longing for Fall weather already and my baking seems to be heading in that direction too.  They take a little time but oh so worth it!

Momma's Pecan Tarts

Preheat the oven to 325F.

The Crust:

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
8 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
2 cups all purpose flour
1/4 tsp salt

Beat together the butter and cream cheese until smooth and blended.
Mix in flour and salt, working until incorporated.  Be careful not to overwork.

With lightly floured hands, shape the dough into a mound, then divide in half.

Wrap with plastic. Chill for at least 4 hours or up to 3 days.

 Divide each part of the dough into 24 1-inch balls. Place each  ball into the mini-muffin tin. 

Mold the dough into each hole, pressing it up the sides.  

 Make the filling as below and spoon 1 TBSP filling into each of the muffin tins. 

The Filling:

2 large eggs
2 cups lightly packed brown sugar
2 tbsp unsalted butter, melted and cooled
1/4 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups coarsely chopped lightly toasted pecans, divided

Place the eggs, brown sugar, butter, salt, and vanilla in a large bowl. Whisk together until smooth.  Add the pecans and stir well. 

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until the pastry is golden brown around the edges. Let cool.  You should then be able to pop them out of the tins with a small spoon. Let them cool on a cooling rack.  Enjoy!

The yummy cream cheese crust ingredients...

Beat the butter and cream cheese till smooth...

Add the flour and then change your paddle to a dough hook...works much better...

After mixing with the dough hook, your crust mixture will look like this...
Divide in half and wrap in wax paper and refrigerate for a while if you want to...Momma didn't so I don't and it seems to work just fine...

The filling ingredients...

Whisk the eggs...

Add the brown sugar and melted butter...

Pour in the pecans...

You will get a gooey pecan deliciousness that looks like this...

Meanwhile, roll the dough into balls and place in the muffin tin...why?  Because Momma said so...that's why...

 Press the mixture up the sides and spoon 1 TBSP of the pecan mixture into the tins...

 Bake for 20 minutes until they are turning brown around the edges. 

I have better luck with getting mine out of the tins (even though I spray it with Pam) if I wait until they are very cool and then try to pop them out with a spoon.  

If you try it when they are too warm, they will crumble on you and you will eventually become very frustrated and fall into a sobbing heap onto the kitchen floor...this is not pretty...

so, from experience,  just wait and great things will happen as below...

Then there is no Muffin Tin Rage either...

Toaster Rage is bad enough :)